My Alternative Ending
by whiteybear
Summary: Definitely contains spoilers so don't read if you haven't read the book. This is my attempt to make an alternative ending, starting from Chapter 24 (they return from Mauritius). I'm not a native English speaker but I did try my best :)
1. Chapter 24

**Hi. I wanted to add a few words here in the beginning. First of all, I really enjoyed reading the book - right up till the ending :) The original ending makes such a strong impact and I see why the author wrote it that way. It left me quite sad and disturbed...But then I luckily found FanFiction and all the wonderful alternative endings and storylines here. They also inspired me to write one of my own which I initially called 'My Hollywood Ending' :) Thank you so much to everyone who takes the time to read it!  
-Whiteybear**

* * *

24

Will

And then she completely shut down on me, as if she had built a wall around her. We spent the 12-hour flight in silence - only Nathan breaking it with brief comments, adjusting my position and serving the dinner. I could see it from Nathan's face, he could guess what had happened. And I could even sense his disapproval towards what I had done.

In this forced solitude my mind kept repeating her words.

 _You are so selfish, Will.  
_

 _I wish I'd never met you._

And I could still feel her rage.

Yes, I was selfish. But there was no other way. I had set my mind way before I met her. Her presence had made these last six months...bearable. And yes, I admit it, even more. I was flooded with memories. All those afternoons at the castle grounds, my visit to her parents' house...The day at the maze.  
 _Oh how I had wanted to hold her._

At one point Louisa fell asleep.  
Nathan was watching the movie and I couldn't help but looking at her.

Yes, she had definitely taken me off my balance.  
The kiss. Her touch. And her words.

 _I love you._

I tried to shake those words off, felt something rising in my throat.  
I could still remember her face as she said it, so beautifully gleaming and loving.

 _But I love you. I do.  
_

Finally, the awkward journey ended. My parents stood there at the arrivals waiting. Louisa hid behind her sunglasses. With as few words as possible, she declined their offer for lunch. She rolled her luggage furiously towards the exit, my parents looking after her perplexed. I wanted to go after her. I really did. But what could I have said?

'Will, you look really well.' my father commented.

That evening we arrived at the quiet annexe and Nathan helped me through my evening rituals.  
It was five more days till August 13th. Would she arrive tomorrow? I'm sure she would resign.

That night I couldn't sleep.  
I was in no physical pain though.  
I just stared at the all too familiar ceiling.  
And I kept thinking.  
Of life. Love.  
And death.

The next morning she didn't come.

After Nathan had left, I went to my computer to erase everything as I had planned. I was going through the browser cache when a title caught my eye. A link to a forum for quads. And link was a message thread started by someone called Busy Bee. It had to be her. I had no idea she had used my computer. I checked the date. It was one Saturday morning she had stayed here.

And then I began - with a strange feeling - to read everything she had asked and said.  
And I couldn't believe she had done all this...

 _For me._


	2. Chapter 25

25

And so it came, August 13th.

I was numb. Treena said I was probably in a state of shock.

I just couldn't stay in the house and feel Mum's eyes on my back. I had told only Treena. I couldn't bring myself up to it. So there I was, standing in our front yard, still holding the keys to the annexe in my hand. Will would be long gone now - much further than I could ever imagine.

It was such a beautiful and warm August afternoon. Before I knew it, I started walking. I knew where my coral shoes were taking me. All these streets led me there, to the other side of the castle. I didn't want to take the bus. As if staying in motion somehow made everything easier. Finally, I passed the entrance to the castle grounds. The place was closing and the last tourists were leaving.

And there it stood, the Traynor residence. I walked up to the annexe, feeling my heart beating. I opened the door with my key. This so familiar door. The rooms were so solitary and silent. I could hear only my heels on the tiles as I left the keys to the kitchen counter. His beaker was still there.

I walked to the living room. Warm autumn light was flooding from the windows. I wondered what the weather would be like in Switzerland. I sat there, on the sofa where Will and I had watched countless movies. I knew it would all be over by now. They do it there in office hours. What a surreal thought. I looked at the clock on the wall and then they came.  
My tears.  
 _I didn't even say goodbye to him._

I don't know how long I was crying. Maybe hours. At some point I realized the sun was setting and remembered I had one more thing to do. I walked to his bedroom, to his bookshelf. I opened my bag and took the last book I had borrowed, John Donne, and placed it on the shelf. I gently slid my fingers through the back of his books. Who would lead me to this world now? And I touched his bed. I knew it still had his scent. I could feel the tears coming again. I had to leave.

I stormed out of the annexe. Sky was no longer clear and the wind was rising. I put my arms around myself as I started walking. I pushed facing the wind towards the bus stop. The clouds were so dark. The only thing missing was pouring rain. I stood there alone at the bus stop looking at the castle wall. I let my head fall and stared my shoes. Everything would always remind me of him.

I was in my thoughts, when in the corner of my eye, I saw a car. It took a split second to notice it was Will's. Nathan was driving it towards my bus stop. He must've been bringing the car back. I couldn't do this. I didn't want to speak to Nathan. I continued staring my shoes.

The car stopped right next to me. I lifted my head and I could see Nathan waving towards the back door. I felt like being on autopilot, opening that car door.

And there he was.  
Will.  
Alive.  
Sitting in his chair.  
I froze.

'Louisa' he said as he turned his head towards me.

My reaction came from my spine.  
I jumped to the car and wrapped my arms around him.  
My cool cheek was touching his warm face.  
All I could think was that he was still alive.

Finally I found the courage to lean back and face his eyes.  
I was so scared and could feel my words just barely coming out of me:  
'Will...Don't say this is goodbye.'

He shook his head.  
'It's not.'  
I could see it now clearly. In his eyes.  
Something new.

'Louisa.'  
He said my name with such gentle voice.  
'Please let me say something.'  
He looked downwards and I could see he was trying to find the words.  
Then he lifted his eyes to mine, staring intensely.  
Everything in his eyes encouraged me to do it.  
I kissed him.  
And he kissed me back.  
It was the most lovely lingering kiss, followed by the most comfortable silence ever.

I heard a cough from the front seat.  
'So guys.' Nathan interrupted us.  
'Where do you want me to take you?'

Will looked deep into my eyes.  
I could see a glint of smile on his face.  
'What do you think of Paris?'

My smile must've lit my face.  
'Paris.'  
'Are you sure?'

'I'm absolutely sure.' he said.  
And he smiled.

Nathan turned the car around.  
I sat there the whole drive to St Pancras station, holding Will in my arms.


	3. Epilogue

Epilogue

When I look back, those years I got to spend with Will Traynor were a gift.  
That's all I can say. He was a gift to me.

We sometimes talked what had changed his mind back then.  
In fact, it puzzled me - especially during those first months.  
All Will could say that he had a revelation. Something he couldn't put into words.

 _A revelation._

I'm not saying those years were without pain.  
There was pain. There were difficulties. Tears. Nights I stayed awake with him.  
But I never regretted. How could I?  
And I knew he did neither.

I learned so many things from him.  
And I like to think, he learned something from me.


End file.
